Dr. James Snyder
At my age, people, particularly The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, believe that I do not listen when people talk. Of course, some people aren’t worth listening to. But I digress.
When I’m around people, I don’t have any problem talking with everybody and responding to every conversation. My main goal is to make people laugh, and I’m pretty good at it, especially among my relatives. Seriously, I’m not quite sure if some are laughing with me or at me.
Some things I remember as if they were happening right now. I can remember some things that happened years ago as if they were happening right now. But then, there are quite a few things that, no matter how far back I go, I don’t remember.
The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage has noticed this in my life. She thinks that when she’s talking to me, I am not listening. Often, she says, “Are you listening to me?” She says this several times, and I stare at her while nodding my head in the affirmative. Of course I’m listening; I just don’t know when to respond.
Sometimes I get up and go to my office for my normal workday, and The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage comes to the door and says, “Are you ready?”
I look at her as though I don’t know what she’s saying and respond, “Oh, yes, I’m ready to work for the rest of the day. Thanks for asking.”
She never accepts that and responds, “Do you remember what I told you the other day?”
To me, that is a trick question because she tells me a lot of things every day; how am I going to remember something she told me several days ago?
“No, my dear, I’m sorry, I don’t remember what you told me the other day. What was it?”
Looking at me with a grimace all over her face, she said, “I told you the other day that we were going to go across town and have lunch with our friends. You agreed to that appointment at the time. Are you ready now to go?”
I rarely forget a dinner date, especially with friends. But sometimes I get so busy with everyday things that I forget important things. So I smiled back at her and said, “I’m sorry, I’m ready to go now if you are.”
One question I get asked a lot from The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.s, “Do you hear anything I’m saying?”
Of course I hear everything she’s saying, but the problem is remembering what she said and when she said it. If I could remember everything she has said to me, my brain would explode.
She often tells me that God gave me two ears and one mouth for a reason. And I agree with her, but she doesn’t understand that just because I hear something doesn’t mean I remember it the next day.
It’s not that I have memory failure. I can get behind the pulpit and sometimes preach without even having notes. Sometimes I don’t even refer to my notes as I preach. I don’t forget my sermon because it’s rather important to me.
Over the years, I have memorized Scripture that I still remember to this day.
So it’s not my “listening”; it’s my “remembering” that’s the issue.
The one thing that I cannot remember has to do with birthdays.
I always remember my wife’s birthday because it is two days after my birthday, and I never forget my birthday. But when it comes to our children and relatives, I have no idea whose birthday is on what day.
Sometimes at breakfast, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage will clear her throat and then say, “Do you know whose birthday it is today?”
There is absolutely no way that I can know whose birthday it is today or any other day, for that matter.
When she asks me that question, I look at her very seriously and say, “I thought that was your job?” Then I smile at her, but she doesn’t return it.
Of course, she doesn’t smile back but says, “You should remember our children’s birthday as well as our grandchildren’s birthday.”
I don’t even know my siblings’ birthdays. There are only two of them, but I cannot remember their birthdays. I was alive when they were born, but for the life of me I can’t remember the day they were born.
In The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage’s craft room, one section is dedicated to birthday cards. She hasn’t bought a birthday card in I don’t know how long. But she makes birthday cards herself. To make the birthday cards, she has to know whose birthday it is.
When I’m having a conversation with The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, I hear everything she says, and I can respond quite intelligently. I hear everything she says. However, give me two days, and I won’t remember a word she just spoke.
As I reminisced about all of this, I was reminded of a verse in the Bible that sorta settles some of it.
“He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him” (Proverbs 18:13).
I have discovered that when I speak before I hear the whole sentence, I get it all wrong. I am still on the learning curve with The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage
