Dr. James L. Snyder
Every once in a while, I hear or see something that reminds me of my father. He’s been gone for over 15 years, but his memory is still fresh in my mind.
His most famous saying, that I remember, was, “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than for permission.” He lived that to the very end of his life.
Another saying of his was, “You break it, you fix it.” He was quite serious about this one, especially when it came to his children. If we ever broke anything, which was quite often, he made us fix it, at least to the best of our ability.
I’ve been married to The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage for over 53 years, and that is one of her savings. “If you break it, you have to fix it.”
At first, I assumed she was joking about this. But the first time I broke something, I discovered that she wasn’t joking about it at all. I had to fix what I had broken, and I don’t quite remember what it was now.
The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage can fix anything and everything. If something is broken, it kicks her in high gear, and she has to find a way to fix it. Usually, she finds a way to fix whatever is broken.
I remember several years ago, the front bumper of my truck was loose. I think one of the bolts had broken, and I didn’t quite know what to do. I casually mentioned to her that the front bumper of my truck was broken.
That’s all I had to do, and she was out there within 30 minutes, fixing it. I was stunned because I didn’t think it was fixable. But she took a big paperclip and put it on the place where the bolt had been broken. It was fixed. It’s been fixed for over five years now.
I sit on the other side of the table. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage can fix everything and anything, while I can break anything and everything.
There is nothing that I cannot break and have broken down through the years.
That’s why The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and Yours Truly have a wonderful marriage. We are partners in the strictest sense of the word. I don’t do what she can do, and she surely doesn’t do what I can do.
I can break anything, and she can fix anything, which has made our relationship very amenable from the beginning.
If I had not been so busy in ministry, we could have made a good business out of flipping houses. I know how to handle a checkbook, and she knows how to handle home repairs. We could’ve made a fortune over the years.
Usually, the wife breaks things, and the husband fixes them. I’m unsure how our relationship developed, but we are the opposite.
I’m not upset at what she can do, and she’s not upset about what I can do. Well, most of the time.
She knows all the builder stores in the area. I’m not even sure of the names of these stores, but she knows them and even knows the people who work there. These are only second to the thrift stores in the area.
Last week we were doing something across town, and she mentioned that she needed to stop at one of those building stores to get something for a project she was working on. Of course, I agreed.
As we walked in, I realized that this was my first time in such a store. But as we were walking around, I noticed that she knew everybody, and everybody knew her. She knew exactly where everything in that store was.
A customer happened to stop her and asked if she knew where a certain gadget was. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage told her exactly where to go and recommended a certain brand of that gadget. I had no idea what she was talking about.
I’m not very smart about gadgets and fix-it-up tools, but I am pretty smart about finances.
Once, we went into the bank to do a little business, which I needed there. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage went with me, and as we talked, she had no idea what we were talking about. Finance is not her strong point. I know more about finances than I do about fixing up anything.
It boils down to this: I can break anything, she can fix anything, and I can pay the bill. What more do you need for life to be happy?
After 53 years of marriage, we have come to an understanding of our position. When anything is broken, I’m not allowed to touch it. That is the responsibility of the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. We accept our situation and respect each other’s strengths and weaknesses. The motto in our house is simply this: “I break it, she fixes it.”
I thought about a Bible verse, James 1:5-6, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.”
I do not base my life on my wisdom, rather on God’s wisdom that He gives abundantly to all who believe in Him.
Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone 1-352-216-3025, e-mail jamessnyder51@gmail.com, website www.jamessnyderministries.com
