Dr. James Snyder
In the news recently, there was a story about a man involved in an automobile accident, which wasn’t his first time. I can’t remember how many accidents he was involved in, but it turned out he never had a driver’s license.
How can people get in a car, drive across town, and not have a driver’s license?
I couldn’t wait until I turned 16 to get my driver’s license. It was one of the most memorable days of my life. What a privilege it was to drive a car.
But now I’m hearing about someone who never had a driver’s license, was driving a car, and was involved in several accidents. How foolish can a person be?
While watching the news story, a thought hit me. I’d never thought this before, and it was rather interesting.
Since there’s a license for everything in the world, do I need to get a license to drive my wife crazy?
I must come clean and say that for the last 55 years I have been driving The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage crazy. I own up to it and take responsibility.
The important issue that I had to work out was: where did I get my license to drive my wife crazy? I thought a lot about this question because much of my life rests on it.
After several days of pondering this query, I finally concluded I did get my license to drive The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage crazy.
You might say, “Where did you get your license?”
I got my license to drive The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage crazy 55 years ago, in a church, before a minister, I said, “I do.” That is all the license I need.
I only wish I’d thought of this years ago, but I’m not going to waste my time regretting what I haven’t done. Instead, I’m going to focus on driving her crazy. After all, I’ve had a lot of practice through the years developing this driving skill. I will not brag, but I believe that I have become a professional driver in this area.
Although it took me a long time to figure all of this out, I’m not going to be wasting any more time in the future. I know I have my license, so I am going to do as much driving as I can. I’m going to make good use of my license.
I’m not sharing this information with The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage because I want to get away with as much as possible.
My license has not expired, so it is legitimate. I love it when a plan comes together. I now need to get my game in order and figure out how to drive her crazy. At least crazier than she is already.
Now that I know I have this driver’s license, I can make the most of it. The one thing I need to be careful about is not letting her know I have a license to drive her crazy.
Oh, this is going to be so much fun.
This demands quite a bit of planning on my part. I certainly don’t want to get caught.
I spent several hours looking back over the years, figuring out how I have driven her crazy in the past. At the time, I didn’t know I was doing it. Now, I can do it and know that I am doing it. Does life get any better than that?
One thing I need to consider is that when I am driving her crazy, I’m in the passenger seat. So, I need to be very careful in planning. I certainly don’t want anything to go wrong. After all, I’m going to have a lot of fun with this.
Right after we were married, I taught her how to drive a car. She didn’t have a license when we got married, so I helped her learn to drive and then took her to get her driver’s license. So I have experience along this line that I want to use for my personal fun.
I need to organize my plans carefully around this. I don’t want her to know that I am the person behind this “crazy.” If I can make it seem like it’s anybody else’s fault but mine, I’m going to get away with it.
The one thing that really drives her crazy is a cockroach. They seem to be very plentiful around our house. So, I like to get one and put it where she will notice it. And when she notices a cockroach, she goes crazy trying to find a broom in the house to get rid of it. I’m going to make the brooms a little harder to find, which will stretch out her “crazy.”
That’s just one ingredient in my plan to drive her crazy. I’m just getting started; I have a lot more to do.
My plan was coming together, and I was anxious to get it rolling. Then I remembered a Bible verse.
“But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased” (Hebrews 13:16).
Looking at my plan, I asked myself a serious question. Will this plan of mine really please God? Spontaneously driving my wife crazy is one thing, but deliberately planning to drive her crazy is completely different. God always comes first in my plans.