Dr. James L. Snyder
One thing that irritates me is people talking behind my back. I want to be part of the conversation because I know more about me than they do. Or at least I think I do
While in the mall recently, I passed two people, and I heard one say, “Doesn’t he look stupid?”
Tempted as I was, I didn’t turn around and inquire what they were talking about. Why did they think I looked stupid?
I have found out that when I hear something, I usually don’t hear the whole story. If I don’t hear the whole story, I’m going to get it wrong, and if I react, I certainly will look stupid. Why do I care if someone I don’t know thinks I look stupid?
If The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage says I look stupid, that is a completely different scenario. I need to get the information she has so I can change whatever I need to change so I don’t look stupid in her eyes. Really, her opinion the only one that really matters to me.
As often as I have heard this throughout my life, you would think I would have reached the point of post-stupidity. I’m not sure what that means, but I’ll let it go for now.
At my age, I don’t care what people think I look like. If someone thinks I look stupid, I’m quite okay with that. I just don’t want them shouting to the rest of the world. Whisper it, and let’s keep it between us.
How often have I made a mistake judging someone by their outward appearance? I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble down the years doing that. I don’t need to judge people. Whatever people are wearing and how they look is none of my business whatsoever. And I’ll keep my thoughts to myself. At least I try.
While at the mall, I see people whose looks are very close to the neighborhood of stupid. Why they wear what they wear or don’t wear is something I will never quite understand.
Years ago, there was a sense of decency in what people wore. Today, however, that sense of decency is far gone. I sure do miss those good old days.
What does stupid really look like? How can I tell that someone looks stupid just by walking past them?
As a daily discipline, I strive not to judge people before I really get to know them. After getting to know some people, you find out they’re not really what they first appear to be. They’re not as stupid as they look nor as smart as they look.
While in the mall, I passed several people with tattoos all over their body. Tattoos, ear piercings, nose piercings, and even one had a tongue piercing. I have no idea what these things are called or why anybody would want to do that.
Never in the morning have I gotten up, gone to my bathroom, looked in the mirror and said to myself, “You need to get some tattoos today.” I’m not even sure my mirror would allow me to do that.
If somebody has all of these tattoos and piercings, it has nothing to do with me. If they think it makes them look special, that’s quite all right with me. I work very hard at not judging people. Sometimes, it’s hard, but I work at it all the more. If somebody wants to look the way they look, who am I to tell them it’s wrong?
I’ve been going to the same barber for around 30 years. During that time, the hair on my head has gotten thinner and thinner, and if I blame the barber for that, I am stupid. It’s not my barber’s fault, and really, it’s not my fault. I didn’t tell any of my hair to leave, but they have, never to return.
Judging somebody by his or her outside appearance really challenges decency. I’ve counseled many people over the years and learned one thing: most of them do not want to hear the truth.
They will ask me a question, but they don’t want me to tell them the absolute truth. They want me to tell them what they want to hear.
That’s the kind of world we live in today. Nobody wants to hear the truth or tell the truth, and everybody is completely happy with that. Well, I’m not.
I think of a joke about Abraham Lincoln. This may not have happened to him, but in the joke, Abraham’s wife gets a new dress, puts it on, comes before her husband and says, “Abe, does this dress make me look fat?”
If Abraham Lincoln were as smart as I think he was, he would never have answered that question.
So, if you think I look stupid, don’t say it out loud; just whisper it, and let’s keep it between the two of us. Then, I won’t tell people what I think about you.
Thinking about this I was reminded what Jesus said. “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment” (John 7:24).
Jesus did not judge according to appearance. It’s not how we look, but how we act that is the defining factor. So, instead of concentrating on my outside, I need to focus on my inside, that is my relationship with Christ. That is how God will judge me in the final day.
Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone 1-352-216-3025, e-mail Jamessnyder51@gmail.com, website www.jamessnyderministries.com