Dr. James L. Snyder
This month The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and her amazing husband will celebrate 54 years of marital bliss. I can’t believe how fast the time has gone. It only seems like yesterday that we got married. Maybe that’s the benefit of getting old.
I remember the beginning of our life together. I went to a Bible college to prepare for the pastoral ministry, and that’s where I met her.
As a young person, I had no qualities when it came to dating. Up until I met this young lady, I had never dated in my life. My parents planted the seed in my mind that most girls had cooties. I didn’t know what that meant, but I wasn’t going to explore it. I just stayed away from girls.
In going to college, my one prayer was that God would lead me to the young lady who would be my wife in my pastoral ministry. I had no way of choosing who that would be. With no dating experience, I just let it in God’s hands. I was still nervous.
The first day of Bible college is when I met her, but I tried to dismiss it because it was just the first day. In classes, we crossed paths almost every day. Then one of the men in the men’s dorm invited me to go out with him and his girlfriend for dinner one night. He said his sister would be coming along if I didn’t mind. Well, I didn’t mind, so we went out together. Guess who it was?
That was the beginning. Slowly, we began seeing each other, and then one day it hit me like a pie in the face. I started thinking that maybe I was dating a girl for the very first time. It took me some time to get over that thought, and it made me wonder about certain things.
When I began to realize that we are actually dating, a thought came to my mind I had never thought before in all my life. What if, and I thought about this very seriously, but what if she expected me to kiss her?
I almost passed out when that thought run through my brain. I’ve never kissed anybody in the world, and nobody’s ever kissed me. Well, except for my dog Sparky. But outside of that, I have been kiss-free all my life. I did not know how to handle it if it got to that point.
Maybe I should begin practicing kissing. I didn’t know how to do it, and I sure wasn’t going to ask anybody in the men’s dorm about this subject.
One morning, I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, and there I saw it. I saw how I could begin to practice kissing by using the mirror.
In the morning, I would go in and practice kissing myself in the mirror over and over again. Then, in the evening before going to bed, I would go into the bathroom and stand in front of the mirror and kiss myself over and over again.
I’m not sure how long I was doing this, but I did not have confidence I was learning how to kiss anybody. I can hardly kiss myself in the mirror and get away with it.
I always heard that practice makes perfect, and so I practiced, and practiced, and practiced as much as I could. I had no confidence I had perfected any kissing.
Up until now, I have never told anybody about this aspect of my life. After all, who would I tell? And, who would believe me?
Keeping to my diligence, I practiced this kissing procedure day after day. I had to be very careful I didn’t get caught in the dorm, because how would I explain what I was doing? Some things are better left secret.
As our dating got a little more serious, I got a little more nervous. There was going to come a time when she would expect me to give her a kiss good night. Oh boy. How do you fix such a situation in life?
Even now, I’m not exactly sure when it took place. But there was one date that I took her to the ladies’ dorm and walked her to the door, and before I knew it, we kissed. I still don’t know if I kissed her or if she kissed me. The only thing I remember was that woozy feeling I had following that kiss.
Not all my practice in the bathroom mirror prepared me for what I experienced.
After that experience, I guess we kissed a lot, but once I was over that first one, everything else seemed to fall in place.
I must say that all my practicing did not prepare me for what I expected to happen. The more I practiced, the less prepared I became.
A verse of Scripture came to mind along this line. The Apostle Paul writers in 2 Timothy 2:15, “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”
In my life I have learned that preparation and practice is important. I personally like the phrase, “a workman that needeth not to be ashamed.” I need to work at my life and not assume things will be OK.
I need to prepare my heart for what God has next for me.
Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone 1-352-216-3025, e-mail jamessnyder51@gmail.com, website www.jamessnyderministries.com
