By Dr. James Snyder
As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a writer. My maternal grandmother wrote poems and would read one at the family gathering. I don’t know if that’s where I got it, but I got it.
I wrote poems as a teenager, although I never shared them with anybody. Back then, I did not have a computer, so all my poems were on paper. I had a stack of them, but when I moved away to college, for some reason, I left them behind and have not seen them since.
In high school, I was failing English—if you can believe that—and my teacher said if I gave him a poem each week, he would make sure I passed and graduated. That set me off writing poems; I only wish I knew what those poems were. At least I graduated.
Writing was a priority in my life, and I was around 16 when I got my first typewriter for Christmas. That was a very wonderful Christmas for me. I used that typewriter almost every day. Years later, I was able to get an electric typewriter, which made all the difference in the world to me.
I like to create words and phrases in my head and practice them before writing.
One of my favorite writers at the time was James Thurber, who wrote the famous short story, “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.” Later on, it was made into a movie.
James Thurber was blind, and his work schedule was to write his stories in his head at night, then dictate them to his secretary in the morning. That always impressed me.
It encouraged me to make things up in my head and think it through before I wrote them down.
I could create words and phrases and assemble them in sentences that really made sense. As I got older, however, my tongue and my brain had a falling-out. I could think of things in my head, but my stubborn tongue would never get them right. This caused me a lot of trouble. I think my tongue did it on purpose.
Most of the trouble was with The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.
One of her infamous questions to me is, “What are you thinking?”
That is one of the most challenging questions I have to answer. Do I tell her what I’m actually thinking or make up a story that would make her happy?
Usually, I would give a quick response that would satisfy her at that moment. To tell her what I was thinking would take several hours —who has time for that? Not her.
Sometimes I’ll be thinking about something and start chuckling to myself. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage is there with me and asked, “What’s so funny?”
I look at her quite seriously and say, “I was just thinking about a joke. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, 7 8 9.”
She might have believed me the first time I said that, but never after.
Sometimes, when you speak your mind, you either confuse the other person or get yourself in trouble. That’s been my experience throughout the years.
Often, when watching TV at night, I’m thinking about my sermon for the weekend. I will go over and over the elements of that sermon and work it out in my mind.
I’m not paying too much attention to what we’re watching on TV. But, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage will say, “Did you see that? Wasn’t that amazing?”
At the time, I had no idea what she was talking about. But I go along with her and say, “That certainly was amazing.”
Then, much to my shock, she replies, “Tell me what was the most amazing part of that scene?”
Now I am in a situation I can’t get out of. She has caught me many times in this kind of situation.
It is not that I can’t pay attention; I’m just thinking about something altogether different. I’m working it out in my head so I can put it all in writing in the morning. That’s just the way I work.
We’ll be driving across town in her Sissy Van. She’s behind the wheel, and I’m sitting in the passenger seat, thinking about a project I’m working on. That’s a great time for me to think through some project I’m working on.
“Oh, my,” she said very excitedly. “Did you see that?”
Now I’m in a pickle jar, and not sure what she saw. Most of the time, I respond, “Yes, that was really something.”
She will glance at me and say, “I was referring to the dead raccoon on the road back there.”
I will never get it right. I can spend the first few moments in the car chatting back and forth, but sooner or later, my mind will focus on a project, and I won’t hear or see anything around me.
It’s not my mind that gets me into trouble; rather, it is my tongue.
I can’t help but think of a verse in the Bible that deals with the tongue. “Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!” (James 3:5).
Most of my trouble stems from my tongue. If I can control my tongue, my life would be a better experience.
Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone 1-352-216-3025, e-mail jamessnyder51@gmail.com, website www.jamessnyderministries.com