By Dr. James Snyder
Throughout my life, I have often heard people telling other people what they should be or do. I do not know where they get the right to say that about other people.
I first encountered this attitude with my mother. She would often say to me, “Son, you need to start acting your age.” At the time, I did not know what she really meant by that.
As far back as I can remember, I have never had any thespian ambitions. From the day I was born, I was always the real me. I never acted like something I was not. How could my mother look at me and tell me to start acting my age? If anyone should know how old I was, it would be her.
I had a hard time handling that until I went to school. At school, I did not know any other kids who were acting their age. Maybe they did not have a mother like mine.
I lived with it but could never act my age. By the time I figured out my age and learned how to act it, I had another birthday, which pushed me beyond that aspiration. When do you stop aging so that you can learn how to act your age?
When I left home, I got married, and The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage seemed to have the same kind of ideas as my mother.
Too often she would say, “Why don’t you just act your age?”
The first time she said that to me, I was quite stunned.
I don’t know how to do all of this acting. I can act like a fool, and I know how to do that quite well. But I don’t know how to act my age because I don’t know what my age is today. I do know that by the time I understand my age, I’ll have another birthday, and I’ll have to start the process all over again.
In all my years, I have never had any thespian training. I wouldn’t even know where to start with that sort of thing.
Once, when The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage said, “Why don’t you just act your age?”
I responded, “If you can give me the script I’ll study it so that I can act my age.”
The look she gave me was well worth my comeback.
But it is true. If I’m going to act my age, I need to have the script, but where do I find that script?
I had one concern: what if she gave me a script and I had to follow it? So far, she hasn’t given me a script, so, fortunately, I will not have to act my age.
Recently, I was at the mall for some shopping. After getting my items, I got a cup of coffee and sat down in the middle of the mall. When it comes to shopping, I certainly don’t have the energy. So resting after the shopping is what I do.
As I sipped my coffee, I looked around and watched people come and go. And then that question of The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage seemed to pop into my head. I looked at the people and thought to myself, “Are they really acting their age?”
I watched everyone and asked myself that question about them. I could not find anyone that afternoon who really knew their age. If they did know, they certainly were not acting it. The older the person was, the less they acted their age.
What if I get up one morning and feel like I’m 25? Do I then need to act my age, which is 25? I’m sure that would not thrill The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage.
The next morning, I get up feeling like I’m 65. Do I then need to act my age of 65? I’m sure that would not thrill The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. In fact, I don’t think it would thrill me either. I don’t know how to act like I’m limping
Instead of acting my age, why can’t I live my age? The problem with both sides is that we cannot define age. Age is not a number, so they tell us. Embracing who I am feels more genuine than conforming to societal norms
If I lined up 10 people who are 25, each would act differently from the others. They would all be different, so how can I act my age when I really don’t understand what my age is?
Fifteen years ago, on my 60th birthday, I made a resolution to myself that I would have no more birthdays. At 60, I was all I needed to be. I don’t need any more age to define myself. If I don’t know who or what I am at 60, I will never find out.
I’ve decided to never act my age because embracing my true self, regardless of societal norms, brings me more happiness and freedom than conforming ever could.
The great challenge of life for me is always to be true, and it’s not always easy. In reflecting on this, I was reminded of a verse of scripture.
“Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight” (Proverbs 12:22).
Pondering this verse, I believe my main objective in life is to delight God and not yield to the demands of anybody else.
Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone 1-352-216-3025, e-mail jamessnyder51@gmail.com, website www.jamessnyderministries.com.
